Kurt's Zerophilia
by Gamin'Gleekin'Avatar
Summary: Kurt has an odd condition that's quite rare. He's not sure how to tell Blaine now that they are officially together. He can't wait too long, or it might come out at the wrong time. M for some sexual themes.
1. Chapter 1

The two warblers were sitting at their favorite table in the Lima Bean. Even though this wasn't unusual, it was a big day for them. Or at least for Kurt. Blaine had finally 'officially' asked Kurt to be his boyfriend. And, even though Kurt was expecting it to happen sooner or later, he couldn't help the large all teeth grin that took over his pale features. He composed himself though, and answered 'Oh…if I must'. But the smile was still there slightly.

After Blaine returned his own charming and dapper as ever smile, he announced that he had to go home soon. It turns out his parents were out of town and his sister needed driving around. Poo. No time to go out and have 'officially together' fun. It would have been the same stuff they always do, but it would've felt different. Kurt was sure of it. Blaine excused himself, kissed Kurt on the cheek, and walked out the glass doors. Kurt followed him with his eyes before holding his hands over the smile that was starting to grow larger yet again. 'I finally have a boyfriend!' yelled a triumphant and very happy voice in his head. The smile fell slowly as he came to a thought.

"Oh god." He said aloud. "I have a boyfriend." 'How am I supposed to tell him about my… interesting ability?' he thought. 'Crap.'

He thought back on how it all started.

It was only two years ago. Kurt was fifteen and going into sophomore year. It was like any other Friday night. Kurt made Ravioli and he and Burt ate it around the Tv. They watched Nascar (Burt talking about the race, and Kurt was commenting on a few car parts he knew about as well as the décor of the cars). They would switch to 'Americas Next Top Model' when there was a commercial on the race (Kurt would point out bad idea for clothing ensembles and Burt would ask questions here and there like "Why would a _guy_ even wear heels? Let alone heels that tall?" Little did they know that Kurt would wear heels that tall for a certain Lady Gaga project in his future..) After dinner, they cleaned up, finished the game, and decided sleep was in order soon. Kurt did his nightly skin routine and hummed silently for a few minutes before turning off his lights and laying in his large bed. His eyelids held blackness within his vision and brain for sometime before a picture showed up.

_It looked like..a bed. Just a simple white bed. But then someone was on it with the sheet draped lightly over them. But not just someone, a man. And not just a man… it's the boy that Kurt had been crushing on. The one on the debate team. Travis. He hated that Travis was straight. He could've sworn by the spiked blonde hair on Travis's head that he was gay when he first saw him. Until he saw his girlfriend. Kurt sighed. Did he have to have a bad dream? Couldn't he just have one good dream lately? Travis stood up from the bed, the sheet falling off delicately to show that Travis was only wearing underwear. Very tight whitey tighteys. 'Oh. Well, this isn't exactly a.. bad dream.' thought Kurt. Travis stepped closer to Kurt before grabbing his face and pressing his lips against his roughly. 'Oh my. Not bad at all.' And then suddenly they were close to the bed and Kurt was shirtless. By the time they were on the bed, Kurt had his pants off and they were kissing very languidly and quite sloppily. Kurt had never been past dreams that involved a bit of kissing, so this was all a bit new. And then something in the dream brushed up against Kurt's growing bulge within his white briefs. He gasped at the electricity that shot through him. 'Oh wow. I want that again.' Kurt thrust his hips out to meet whatever it was that touched him earlier and found it. It produced a moan from the other boy. Both were now thrusting and grinding against each other. Travis was getting harder and faster and Kurt was just enjoying all of this. The fact that gorgeous Travis was gay, and with him. The sounds emitting from the other boy and himself. The feeling that would start in his chest and branch out to his fingertips every time he thrust. More and more the boy thrusted. Faster and faster until the feeling was almost overwhelming and.._

Kurt woke up sweaty and feeling very hot and wet. He blinked, getting used to the early morning light shining through his two small basement bedroom windows. He sat up but it felt so sticky and at first he thought he had wet the bed. 'I haven't done that since I was four!' He thought before he came to a conclusion and blushed. "Oh." He said aloud. "I know what's happened." He had read up information once or twice as well as going to dad about sexual stuff (which usually just ended up being nervous stuttering). And he does go to high school…which has a biology class as well as hormonal teenagers. "Congratulations Kurt. I believe you've just had your first wet dream and your first orgasm." He said softly. "That was it though? Geez people make such a big deal sometimes…" he grumbled as he headed towards the bathroom. He caught sight of himself in the mirror. Something seemed off. But his vision was blurry so he nodded it off as morning hallucination. He pulled his night shirt over his head. "Geez…have I gained some weight over-night or something?" he asked to thin air, looking down at his chest. He nodded this off as well and slid his pants and underwear to his ankles. This however, could not just be nodded off.

A shrill scream was heard from the downstairs bathroom and Burt Hummel was shaken awake. He rushed towards the sound knowing something was wrong. Something was wrong, but he did not expect this. A…girl was standing in Kurt's bathroom? It was a smallish figure with medium hair so it was hard to tell. But her pants were dropped so he could easily see what gender the child was. Before Burt could yell, or find Kurt to ask what was going on, the girl spoke shrilly.

"Dad? Dad? What's going on? What happened to my penis?" She yelled. Wait no…he? Burt shook his head as if to wake up from a dream, only to find that this was real life.

"Wait, What?" He said now coming to his senses. "Did you say Dad? Kurt is that you?"

"Yes it is! And I took biology. I very well know that this is a girl's anatomy. So what's happened to mine?" he asked loudly and hysterically.

"I…I don't know son. Let's get you to the doctor, okay? Maybe a professional will help." Burt nodded to himself, still in some kind of surprise induced haze.

"They have professionals for things like this?" Kurt was now pulling on new underwear and some pants. "What do we say? Excuse me, I went to sleep as a boy and woke up as a girl?"

"I don't know Kurt! I've never even heard of anything like this!" Burt yelled loudly, now getting frustrated. There was silence for a few seconds before Kurt spoke up again.

"I'm sorry Dad. I'm just…..scared." Burt looked apologetic.

"Me too, son. Let's just uh…get you to the doctor first. Okay?"

"Alright." They jumped in the car and headed toward the local hospital. It was only about a 20 minute ride, but it was still awkward all the same. Burt just drove there with his eyebrows sown together and his hands hard on the steering wheel. He was confused and scared for his son. Sadly, that didn't take away any of Kurt's confusion or fright. They went over the night together wondering if anything he did could have caused it, but none of it makes sense. "Maybe it's them girl shows you watch?" said Burt gruffly.

"I highly doubt that would actually _turn_ me into a girl, dad."

"Right. Sorry."

They pulled into the hospital and walked in. Kurt felt kind of awkward in this body. It was…more petite and it swayed more. But it had more shape, and he couldn't help but like it a bit. 'Oh stop it! This is not normal! It could be hurting me for all we know!' he thought, exasperated. Since they weren't sure where to go exactly, they just headed towards Kurt's old doctor. After announcing it was a bit of an emergency they went in right away since there were only two other people who weren't in much of a hurry.

…

"So you say he just… woke up a girl?" the doctor asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Yes.." Burt answered. Kurt was frightened that the doctor would just think they were pulling a joke. Or he might just wave it away as some sort of 'phase'. But he told them he wasn't sure how it happened, so he went to call his colleague. "He's basically a professional in oddities of the body. Both physically and mentally. So maybe he can help." 'Maybe there's hope yet.' thought Kurt. He nodded with a smile and left them to sit in silence. After a few minutes he came back into the room looking enlightened in the situation. "It turns out you should be fine Kurt." He started, and both Kurt and Burt lightened up and listened attentively. "But let me ask you. Did you do anything last night?"

"I ate dinner, I watched some Tv, got ready for bed and then slept." answered the girl Kurt. "Why?"

"So you just slept?" the doctor asked with a raised eyebrow and Kurt's cheeks went red.

"Well I uh…had a dream." He said awkwardly, twiddling his thumbs. The doctor smiled looked down at a few papers they always seemed to have handy on a clipboard near them.

"Ah yes… I see. You have a very rare case called zerophilia."

"Okay…zerophilia. And what does it do exactly?" Burt asked. "What does it matter that he had a dream?"

"Zerophilia changes your gender every time you have an orgasm. Starting with the first. Kurt didn't just have a normal dream Mr. Hummel." The Doctor said easily, as if it was a completely normal thing. Kurt blushed even more and Burt coughed for a second.

"Okay so….wait, so… my son had a wet dream and just turned into a girl?"

"That's correct."

"That doesn't make any sense! This isn't normal!"

"Well you are right. It is quite rare, but there are at least 8 more known cases just around the US. You see Kurt was born with an extra Z chromosome. Instead of an X or Y chromosome that depicts the gender before he is conceived. Therefore, the body can't cope with holding one in at all times, it usually gets confused. So, it finds a way of venting that energy through sexual arousal and Kurt is forced to change sexes. He becomes fully female until the next time he is aroused. Does that explain it all?" Burt nodded and Kurt just had his new girlish face in his new delicate hands.

"Well. The only thing to do is cope with both sides of your son. He is, in a way, both sexes, but was born a boy. So, it may make things more difficult, but you'll have to buy clothes for the girl side, make up stories, etcetera. I'm not saying live a lie, but it'd be difficult to explain to some people that Kurt is also a girl. Right?"

"Yes doctor. You're right. But I think we've heard enough." Burt stood, Kurt following suit. "Thank you for all of your help."

"Any time."

…

"So uh….how are you feeling?" They had just gotten home and before Kurt could just go upstairs and think, Burt had stopped him for a second.

"Spectacular dad." Kurt answered sarcastically, looking down at him as he sat down.

"I'm serious. I want to make sure you're not freaking out. No parent likes seeing their kid depressed." Kurt sighed and sat in front of his dad.

"I'm not _depressed_ dad. I'm not as confused anymore either. Truthfully there is a strange excitement in it because I always like doing something new. But even so, I'm mainly just... scared. How am I supposed to lead a life this way?" Burt looked seriously into Kurt's eyes.

"We will figure that out together. We'll be just fine. Okay?" Kurt blinked back the water that was starting to fill his eyes.

"Okay. I'm just going to head downstairs for now. I need to just sleep it off, think about it later." Burt nodded once and Kurt stood up.

"Just so you know, you're very pretty." said Burt without even turning his head. Kurt couldn't help but chuckle out loud at his father's way of lightening the situation.

He yelled out a "Thanks dad." Before walking down the stairs to his bedroom and promptly falling asleep.

Kurt shook his head at the odd memories. It had proven to be quite the difficulty in the future. People wondering who 'she' was at school when he couldn't quite change back to male; getting used to things like sitting on the toilet all of the time and periods. He shuddered. That took a lot of getting used to. He had learned all too well how to stimulate lady parts now, because how else could he change back? He wasn't much of a masturbator anyway, so it wasn't particularly very enjoyable for him. Nor was he a 'dirty movie' person as Blaine full well knows. So he always had to use his imagination. The worst was when he just woke up the next day as the girl Kurt. Of which he and Burt had decided the girl version should have a name, especially when people were around. So as a girl, Kurt wore girlier clothes (which were kept at the back of his closet) and they called 'her' Katrina. She was Kurt's cousin who visited often.

The worst however had to be the feeling that any night, at any time of sexual arousal he could change. He was very used to both bodies by now, did like both, and knew both very well. But despite all of this he and Burt were prepared for anything. And Kurt loved Burt and thought he was the best father for being accepting of this and the fact that Kurt was gay. But how was Kurt to tell Blaine of Katrina? He wasn't sure, and wasn't looking forward to any of this.


	2. Chapter 2

**Hiya guys. I just want to say a few things. First of all: OH MY GOSH. This actually got a lot of favorites and watches on this O-o. For that, I thank you all :D And second of all: I'm so sooo sorry for it taking so long. It's crazy how busy I've been. Like..since the middle of September. It's insane.**

**But anyway, I have now updated and more is going on in the story now. I was going to do this much differently in the end, but I decided to do it this way, and I am happy at the way it turned out. And I am updating two chapters, so hopefully that makes everything better for the delay.**

**Enjoy and stuff...**

"No."

"Please tell us, Kurt!" Insisted the other, just as loud as the last. The boy sighed and answered.

"Fine. Blaine and I are officially together. Happy?" The squealing that followed this statement showed just how happy the glee girls were. "Ow! Jeez guys, keep it down. I do need the ability of hearing, thank you very much."

"Sorry Kurt, we're just so happy for you!" said Tina happily.

"Mm." he answered calmly.

"You seem like Mr. grumpy gills about this. Why aren't you happy?" said Rachel, hands on her hips. The boy looked at her with an eyebrow raised.

"Oh I'm plenty happy! Ecstatic, really." He rubbed his eyes for a few seconds before continuing. "Sorry guys, I'm just slightly distracted."

"With what?" asked Quinn.

"Oh. Um, nothing." he glanced over at Mercedes for a second and she caught it.

"Alright. Come 'ere white boy." She said, grabbing his arm and pulling him away from the rest of the girls. When Rachel tried to follow, Mercedes held up a hand to stop her. Rachel looked furious but walked away.

"Mercedes! I just got this jacket! Don't hold it too hard. It'll wrinkle!"

"That's not as important as what is on your mind. Spill." said Mercedes, letting go of his arm. Kurt sighed.

"As happy as I am to finally be with Blaine, and have a boyfriend at all, I've been thinking about my.. problem lately."

"Is this the problem you told me about when we met last year?" she asked with a soft expression. He nodded, looking back at the group. They looked impatient.

"But you haven't had a problem with that in a long time. Only once last year did I get to meet 'Katrina'." Mercedes said with air quotations. "So what's so different now?"

"Well I haven't been getting much sleep lately."

"I've noticed. The bags under your eyes are getting more prominent by the minute." Kurt gasped and poked under his eyes for a second before Mercedes gave a huff. "Calm down drama king. I was joking. Continue. You weren't getting sleep?"

"Well it's been a bit tougher keeping my secret at Dalton because it _is_ an all boy school and if I had ever changed…. Anyway, I've been avoiding sleep because of… certain dreams that could occur without my permission any night. And now that Blaine and I are together my mind is just getting worse and worse and I don't know how to tell him about this and-"

"Whoa whoa!" Mercedes grabbed a hold of Kurt's hands that were previously flailing slightly. "Calm down before you pass out from low breath intake. You are over-analyzing this. First of all, if it happens it happens. You can't help it much and avoiding sleep is not going to help." She paused, waiting until that information sunk in. Kurt nodded and she started again. "Second of all, I know Blaine. I can tell that he loves you very much and won't care about your...situation. Okay?" Kurt seemed to be thinking deeply, so he nodded dumbly back. "Hey. We invited you because we wanted to hang out with you. For fun. To catch up. And I _really_ need your help to get started on a summer wardrobe, okay? Don't let this get to you. You'll be fine, boo." She said with a smile. Kurt couldn't help but smile back and he hugged his best friend quickly.

"Hey losers! Is your little drama over? Because some of us want to move on. Brittany wants a pretzel." Santana has yelled across the way in the center of the large Ohio mall. Kurt chuckled and they walked back to the group. Some of them gave concerned looks as to what they might have just talked about. Others, like Brittany, remained oblivious and skipped towards the food court.  
>…..<p>

"Bye, Kurt!"

"It was great seeing you!"

"See ya, porcelain."

"We'll visit you soon."

The girls were all saying goodbyes and hugging before trudging towards their separate cars in the large mall parking lot. All of them carrying at least two bags of Kurt Hummel approved summer wear. Mercedes stayed behind for a minute.

"Are you here to lecture me about how Blaine won't freak out? Because I'm not sure I want that."

"No, no lecture. I just wanted to say that you really should tell him before something happens." Kurt opened his mouth to speak but Mercedes stopped him. "And don't say that nothing will because you are like any other teenage boy and so is Blaine." Kurt seemed to shrug. "Hey. You told me about this because you needed someone last year and I was your friend right? I covered up for you that few days you were Katrina! And I was the first person that you told you were gay. Bit weird, because I thought you liked me but.." Kurt nodded and chuckled.

"Yes. Yes, you're my best friend and thank you for all of that."

"Then, as your best friend, trust me. He will love you no matter what. And if he doesn't, then he's not worth it."

"Alright, alright! I understand. I guess you're right. Thank you Mercedes." He said giving her one last hug, tearing up just a bit at how much his best friend was there for him.

"We'll come visit you in Westerville soon!" she said waving and walking away. Kurt waved back before jumping in his car and heading back to Dalton.

It's been three days since the mall trip. And Kurt had gone over his best friends words countless times in his head before deciding he should just tell Blaine. He was now heading towards Blaine's boarding room reciting different ways to tell him about it. 'What if he doesn't believe me?' he thought frantically. 'What if I have to prove it to him somehow?' But before he could think any more he was in front of Blaine's door, knocking softly. The curly haired boy opened the door, his free hand holding a notebook. He was wearing Dalton slacks and a T-shirt, and small square glasses were perched on his nose. He seemed to have been holding a pen in the hand that was holding the door open, so temporarily he was rolling it around in his mouth between his teeth. 'God, why does he have to be so utterly adorable?' thought Kurt with a smile. The pen fell out of his mouth as he smiled largely and exclaimed,

"Kurt! Just the boy I was thinking about." Kurt giggled at Blaine puppy-ness and walked into the room he was so familiar with. "As much as I enjoy you being here, to what do I owe the pleasure?"

"I can't just be here to visit my boyfriend?" asked Kurt. Blaine seemed to light up a bit at the word boyfriend to Kurt's amusement.

"'Course you can! I'm just studying though, so I'll be a bore."

"Oh alright." Kurt took a breath and closed his eyes, wondering where and when he could start. 'Blaine, I have something to tell you?' No, he'd think something was wrong or I was breaking up with him. 'I'm not who you think I am?' No too melodramatic and it doesn't come out right. He's think I was confessing to being straight or something. 'Hey, Blaine. Guess what? I'm a girl!' No, way too straightforward.' It seemed that Kurt had the furrowed expression of someone in very deep thought, and Blaine noticed.

"You okay Kurt?" Kurt's eyebrows unsowed from each other and he perked up at the sight of his name.

"Yeah! Yeah, sorry. I'm fine... just thinking." Blaine laid his notebook down and turned his interest towards his boyfriend.

"Oh? What about?"

'Here's your chance..' "Oh um, well….-"

"Oh wait!" said Blaine. Kurt stopped talking. "Sorry, to interrupt, but I just remembered there's a warbler pool party going on tomorrow! I was supposed to invite you when I next saw you, and if I didn't tell you now, I would've forgotten."

"Oh okay cool. Sounds fun. Where at?"

"David's house! His pool is huge and totally awesome." He stated, looking very excited. "So you'll come?"

Kurt chuckled. "Sure, Blaine."

"Awesome! Oh, I interrupted you earlier. Sorry. What were you saying?" Kurt wasn't thinking about if he was offended for being interrupted, the only thought that was in his mind was the fact that it could be quite awkward at the party if he told Blaine about his Zerophilia now.

"Oh nothing! It really wasn't important." Kurt smiled, and decided he'd wait it out just a tiny bit longer.

The warbler party was in full swing when they arrived together. After a few drunk yells of 'Yeah! Kurt and Blaine are here!' they all went along on their business. Kurt didn't know that there was alcohol, but he really didn't mind it. He actually thought of partaking since he skipped out on Rachel's party. But before he could even tell his boyfriend, the curly haired boy had already downed two shots on the counter.

"Um…you excited or something?" asked Kurt with a raised eyebrow.

"Oh, no. I've just been doing a lot of school work and getting a bit overwhelmed. So I figured I'd let go for tonight. Have some fun, you know?" he said with his charming smile. Kurt nodded and the thoughts of the fact that his secret was building stress inside him were getting worse, so he also downed a shot. Blaine chuckled as Kurt couldn't help but cringe and shudder a bit. "Let's go see where everyone else is."

They walked through David's living room to the back yard where many guys were talking, doing drinking contests and pushing each other in the pool. Kurt and Blaine both chuckled at the chaos. "Gotta love a David party, huh?" Blaine said grabbing a drink from a table for him and handing one to Kurt.

"Yeah. Let's go join, shall we?"

After walking around for a few minutes they found David who was deep in a game of beer pong with Wes, Thad, and Thad's girlfriend; Christy. Christy and Thad were, in short, beating their butts. After Christy threw the ball once more and landing in a plastic red half-full cup, Wes downed it with a sad groan. "I'm not sure I can do much more of this D." Wes stated to his friend, swaying dangerously back and forth from drinking quite a bit in a short time. But David just pat him on the back happily. "You've got this Wes! We can get back at them!" But then he saw Kurt and Blaine and ran over to them.  
>"Hey guys!"<p>

"Hey, David."

"Grab a drink and go hang out. The only rules are 'don't go in my parent's bedroom' and 'don't destroy my house'. Mk?" He said, very seriously.

"Never planned on it."

"Good. Now I've got to go show Thad how to really win beer pong." David skipped away and joined the game. Kurt and Blaine watched him as he threw the ping pong ball full of confidence, and it hit the edge of a cup and flew away from the table. They both laughed loudly as Thad and Christy celebrated with a kiss. The boys both noticed that their cups were empty, and so went to get more. A bit later, even more. And then more. And after Kurt had 4 chocolate shots and was working on his third Whiskey Sour, he was in the living room somehow split up from Blaine, of whom he thought was right next to him a second ago. After finishing dancing and grinding up against some brunette girl, who was also very drunk, to a song with way to much bass; he stumbled back outside to the deck of the pool. "Oh god, where is Blaine?" he thought for only a second before spotting him amongst the crowds of Dalton boys. Blaine was in the pool with his cargo pants still on, but he was shirtless waving the red shirt above him in a circle. The curly haired Warbler was singing at the top of his lungs and being completely ridiculous. And yet…Kurt was finding him…_so attractive._ 'I mean…he's always been attractive.' Kurt thought to himself. 'But I've never seen him like this. Gyrating, dripping wet. Shirtless, with his hair all undone and scruffy, his face dopey and his smile large, the beads of water that just fall down his chest into the farther regions of his lower body…' Kurt gave a shudder. He's not sure he's ever been this turned on by just looking at someone.

"Kurt!" He heard his name being called. He was frustrated, but mainly thankful of whatever snapped him out of his haze. That could have produced problems in so many ways. And then he saw a flash of blonde hair fly past him before his eyes settled on the boy that called his name. Jeff was standing there looking flushed. "Hiya Kurt!"

"Hey Jeff. Why do you look so flushed and…wobbly?"

"I just got done doing the keg!" Jeff said proudly, pointing somewhere behind him. Kurt looked behind the warbler to see Nick currently standing on the keg and gulping down beer. "Yeah ha! Go Nick!" they both yelled.

"So what did you come to me for?" Kurt asked. Jeff suddenly had a manic glint in his eye.

"Your turn." He simply stated with a wink. Kurt's eyes went wide and he thought for half a second about not drinking anymore, before he thought 'screw it', and decided to take this challenge. He pulled off his jacket and threw it somewhere, now walking towards the keg.

"Ah crap." He said, giggling drunkedly in front of the keg. "I don't want to get beer all over my shirt! This is Armani!" he said, now stripping his shirt off. All of the boys, who were quite drunk, hollered and whooped at the sight. "Now If you'll excuse me.." Kurt said simply as he held on to the edges of the large silver can, and pulled his own body weight up, doing a perfect handstand. The guys and girls around the keg all cheered and more lined up. Jack put the nozzle up to Kurt's mouth and he began to chug. The cheering went louder, sparking the interest of many from other areas of the house, yard, and pool. It all continued until some started to spill out a bit and Kurt decided it would be enough, and dropped the nozzle. He proceeded in doing a backwards stretch (hands still where they were but feet now touching the ground) to get off the keg. He straightened up and turned back around to the crowd that was now there, and put his hands in the air as a 'voila!' move. They all cheered before a blonde pranced to the keg for her turn. Kurt laughed and went through the crowd to find something else to do, earning a few pats on the back from fellow warblers. Kurt giggled from the adrenaline he got from doing that, and also the alcohol pulsing through his veins.

But suddenly a flash of golden hazel eyes in the crowd caught his attention. It was Blaine making his way through the crowd. But he was staring at Kurt with such intensity. With such…hunger. Kurt waved it off and walked inside, finding a bathroom he could wash off in. The beer that spilled from his mouth at the keg was all over his chest and seeping into his skinny jeans. He was never too drunk to forget about skin hygiene so he decided to clean up. As he turned the sink on, a hand came from behind him and turned it off. Kurt barely had half a second before a pair of strong hands turned him around and warm lips kissed his lips, hard. Kurt squealed and his eyes popped open to find Blaine there; staring hungrily into his eyes and practically eating his face. Kurt's eyes rolled into the back of his head and he closed his eyes, kissing back with fervor. The pleasure was immeasurable. Blaine stopped kissing Kurt, to his dismay for a second to catch his breath.

"Bed. Now." He growled. Kurt suddenly got very excited. 'But I'm not very nervous. Maybe it's the alcohol? Wait, am I about to lose my virginity? Ah, screw it.' He grabbed Blaine's hand and ran down the hall to an open large bedroom. It looked like the master, but everything in it was covered in silly string.

"Oh my god. The parent's bedroom. David will be so pissed." giggled Blaine.

"You're thinking about David's anger when you just demanded me to go find a bed? Really?"

"Sorry." He answered sheepishly, and Kurt giggled. They finally found a vacant guest bed and he locked the door. Blaine grabbed Kurt again, this time by his wrists and kissed him again. Kurt returned it, much more prepared now. But then Blaine changed to Kurt's neck, sucking and kissing the pale perfection.

"O-oh…god, that's good." moaned Kurt. Blaine chuckled against Kurt's neck as he continued to talk. "I- I saw you in the pool. You were so hot Blaine. Oh god, so hot."

"R-really?" he mumbled into his neck.

"Yes, you were." he answered. Blaine started to suck a particular point in Kurt's neck under his chin and Kurt moaned and continued. "I mean you were a complete goofball and an idiot, but yes you were so sexy Blaine."

Blaine took Kurt's wrists, pushed him against the wall, wrists above his head. "And I saw you on the keg. That was really hot." Kurt laughed.

"You thought _that_ was hot? Really? How?"

"Well, you just jumped up there all by yourself, shirtless, and full of confidence. That just does something to me. And you're so…..flexible." he growled.

Kurt decided to be brave and possibly stupid for a minute. "Would you…like me to show you how flexible I really can be?" Blaine's pupils had just blown to almost full blackness at that statement. And _god, _did he want that... but he kept composure.

"Well, I would most certainly like to see that." He said, dropping one of Kurt's wrists and grabbing his right thigh. Kurt gasped and Blaine smirked, unable to stop staring at the beautiful creature before him. "You really don't understand how turned on I was watching you."

"But I'm surprised I was even able to do a handstand. I was sloppy and covered in beer!"

"Mmm…but I do love beer." He simply said, before attacking Kurt's chest with his mouth, licking up his chest, across his surprisingly toned shoulders, and sucking on a left nipple. All the while squeezing his boyfriend's thigh and drowning in the wonderful noises he was making. The noises he was making _because_ _of him_. He couldn't stop staring at this gorgeous boy. He stepped back for a second, admiring the work of hickeys and bite marks he left all across the pale torso and neck. "Oh Kurt... you're stunning."

"Even when you're drunk, you're such a gentlemen." said Kurt, blushing and smiling.

"I'm not really that drunk.." mumbled Blaine

Kurt let a laugh bubble up from his throat. "Oh yeah? Then how do you explain splashing and spinning your shirt around in the pool like a maniac?"

"I like to have fun."

"Of course." He added with a smile. Kurt finally had a second to think and a cold deep plunging sensation filled him with utter reality. As much as he wanted to do this, he couldn't risk revealing his secret. He didn't want it to happen this way. But Blaine's lips were back on his neck, nibbling on the pulse point. He had to stop, and soon… or Kurt would lose what conscience he had left.

"Blaine, _ah!, _s-stop for a_, ooooh, _second." He struggled to get out. Blaine seemed to reluctantly let go of his hold on his boyfriend.

"Are you okay?" he asked, sounding concerned. But Kurt couldn't help but notice how disheveled Blaine looked.

"Yeah. Yeah, fine." He lied. He most certainly was not fine and wanted to do go much farther with his boyfriend, dang it. But, he also considered the fact that they were pretty drunk. "I just...well.." Blaine looked at him with those big brown eyes and nodded for him to continue. "I just want to remember us sharing a moment like this. And I'm afraid due to the alcohol currently residing in our blood streams and altering our brains, we wouldn't remember this. You see what I'm saying?"

Blaine seemed to think over it for a second (probably for the words to actually catch up to how slow he is at the moment, thought Kurt). He nodded, and made eye contact with Kurt. "Yeah. Yeah, I most definitely do understand. And I want the same." Kurt smiled and hugged him.

"Sorry for the weird timing.." he apologized.

"Eh…that's alright. We'll get to it at some point I suppose, eh?" Blaine added with a wink. Kurt rolled his eyes and chuckled, but was secretly thinking of those future promises to go farther with Blaine and 'Ah! No! The point is to _not_ get aroused, Kurt.' He reminded himself sadly.

"So…I'm about ready to go back to dorms." He announced.

"Ditto."

"I have to go find my shirt.." He mumbled, looking down at his bare chest. Blaine laughed.

"Yup, me too. Come on." He grabbed his hand and they ran back into the yard, searching for their various items of clothing. After finishing the hunt, ending with a mud covered jacket ("My Marc Jacobs!" "Why would you even wear Armani and Marc Jacobs to a party full of drunks?"), they said their goodbyes. And then, after a short drive complete with hilarious, loud, and obnoxious duets done by them accompanied by the radio, they had made it back to Westerville and pulled into Dalton. Kurt stood outside his Dorm room that Blaine had just walked him to.

"Will you be okay? This is like.. your first time being drunk so.."

"Yes, Blaine. I'm fine. I'm really not that drunk. I can apparently hold alcohol well."

"Alright, good. I'm personally feeling a bit messed up. But I'll be up later to check on you in the morning." The boys shared a kiss and Blaine headed, slightly stumbling, towards his own room. Kurt washed up quickly (quietly to not awake his neighbor, Josh), settling for just a face astringent and lotion, before falling dead asleep in a soft bed.

"Ooooh…ow."

"Do I hear the familiar sounds of a boy who was drunk and partying all night?"

"Shut up Josh." answered Kurt, opening his eyes to see a cocky blonde boy above him.

"Jeez, I wasn't asking for the anger. Besides, I wasn't being rude.. I was just going to help you." Josh stated with a hurt face. He was holding out a few asprin. "I'm not so sure I want to help you now."

"Sorry Josh." Kurt took the asprin with the bottle of water by his bed. "Thanks."

"No problem. I have a bit of experience in the partying area." He said with the air of a man very proud of himself. Kurt chuckled and shook his head.

"Yeah, I know you do." Kurt decided that he really had to pee. And before he barely sat up from his bed, a horrible feeling of dizziness and absolute nausea took him over and he bolted for the bathroom; almost tripping on a pair of Josh's shorts. He only just made it to the toilet when he heard a concerned "Kurt? Are you alright?" from Josh. Kurt empted his stomach ungracefully, coughed a few times and then could finally take a much needed breath.

"Um yeah..feeling better now, I suppose." Kurt choked out. "Eugh..this is nasty." Josh was at his side with a cool wet wash cloth as Kurt flushed the toilet and rinsed his mouth out at the sink. But when he had stood up fully he suddenly noticed how incredibly burning up he was, and nearly fainted from the pain in his head. Josh had caught Kurt before he fell to the ground and steered the poor weak boy back to his bed.

"God, Kurt. How much did you drink?"

"Not loads. A few shots and whiskey sours. Um…I did beer keg as well." Kurt tried to answer, but his mind was being was to hazy and his head wouldn't stop spinning. "Agh my head."

"Well, depending on how large and strong the shots were, I'd say you did quite a lot. Especially for your first time being really drunk."

"Yeah. That must be it. Sorry, I was going through some stressful stuff and I decided to let go a bit. Ugh…I just don't want to think about that right now." Kurt sighed, rubbing his eyes. "Jeez I'm burning up."

"I understand. Maybe you should just sleep off the Asprin right now, and we'll see how you're feeling later." Josh said, whilst laying Kurt back into his bed. He took the comforter off and left Kurt in just the sheet and cover blanket. Kurt seemed much more comfortable. "You're lucky it's Sunday."

"Mmm. I only just woke up, but sleep does sound nice." Kurt snuggled back into his pillow slowly as to not make his head hurt again. "Thanks Josh."

"No problem buddy. I'll make you make up for this later." He added, smirking.

"I wouldn't expect any less from you." Kurt answered, now getting drowsier. A few seconds passed; with Josh un-cluttering some paths through the room floor. He then sat down on his bed and grabbed his French book for some home-work. Then a thought popped through his mind.

"Should I uh…tell Blaine anything?" Josh turned his head and asked before he thought Kurt was asleep.

"Hngnnama.."

"I'll uh...take that as a _maybe_ then."


	3. Chapter 3

**Hello again. Here's chapter three :D I'm trying something, so this is from Josh's perspective. I hope it turns out alright. Also, this chapter isn't near as long as the first ones. I'm goin' to work on Chapter 4!**

**Oh, Ps: Josh does cuss quite a bit. At least more than the others. Just saying.**

**Pss: This story, based on the plot, is basically surrounded by sex so that's what it's going to have quite a bit of.**

**Psss: This is my first time writing smut and posting it. So if it's terrible, I apologize.**

**Pssss: Has anyone else seen Curt Mega doing Uptown Girl in the upcoming fifth episode? AHH he's amazing and I'm so proud of him. :D**

**K, I'm done. I always really enjoy feedback, reviews, and comments on everything. Enjoy :D**

I had just finished my page of homework from History. So I decided to check on Kurt. I looked up from my history book to the bed across the room. I had to swipe my blonde hair from my eyes before I could really see how Kurt was doing. Sound asleep. And quite pale too; although he always has had that pale complexion. He looked wrecked, and absolutely exhausted. And after last night and what happened earlier this morning, it's understandable. Yup…I'm pretty sure he's getting sick."Poor, sweet Hummel. So innocent; and he only just had his first big, drunk party." I nod my head side to side, clicking my tongue as I go.

Hi. I'm Josh. And I'm a bit of a party boy. Some people (Ehem…mother) call me immature and cocky. But I am just trying to live out life before I get too old. And the age that 'old' officially is to me, would probably be around 25. I only have about 7 more years to fill. Shit…that's not much for someone who hasn't even gone sky-diving or bungee-jumping yet. So, since I have nothing else to do and feel for my room-mate, I thought I'd just play 'mother' today.

I decided to get up and get him a fresh glass of water, and a cool wet wash cloth for his forehead. Then I sat down again, this time to work on my French homework. But by the time I had only finished translating six sentences (and was silently begging that Kurt would wake so he could help me on the seventh) Kurt was groaning and thrashing in his sleep. I stood up from my bed and walked ten feet over to his. At a closer view, I could see that his usual pale skin was turning a red-ish color and he was sweating profusely. He was breathing quite hard, his chest moving up and down at a rapid pace. I figured he was having a bad dream. So I tried to shake him awake…until he said one thing in his sleep. Well no, not quite said... he _moaned_. "_Blaaaaine." _

I pulled my hand back and just looked at him for a second. So, he wasn't having a bad dream. Far from it actually. "Uh…Kurt?" The boy stopped wiggling had due to sensing a pillow that was sitting next to him on the bed. But in his dream, the pillow must have been something quite different or, ehem, someone. Because he had turned under the covers and pulled the large pillow flush against his body. Still moaning and groaning, he thrust his hips into the pillow repeatedly. The blankets were falling farther down his body and I suddenly felt like I was intruding on something very private. My cheeks feel hot. Am I blushing? "Jeez, little roomie. You're not just sick, you're horny and sick." I supposed there was nothing else to do but leave him, so I grabbed my French book and opened the door. I couldn't help but laugh for a second at what just happened and what I had a huge urge to blurt out. Eh, we're alone and we pick on each other all the time even when he's awake. "Happy humping!" I said as I walked out the door and closed it followed by a laugh.

And then I ran into one little hobbit whose name was currently being moaned out by his sick boyfriend. Oh shit…

"Oh uh…hi Blaine!" My acting has never been too great, and I was being a bit jumpy. This was not going to go well.

"Um. Hey Josh. I just came to check on Kurt. As far as I remember, we had a pretty crazy night last night." One of Blaine's large eyebrows went upwards. "Who's humping what?"

"_Mmmm Blaaaaine."_

I think I just squeeked.. oh my gosh, I did. "Oh uh nothing. It's just an inside joke. A personal one between me and me, haha." 'Why am I worrying about Blaine finding Kurt like this? He is his boyfriend. But I have some odd nagging feeling that he shouldn't walk in there right now.'

"Um..did you hear me?" Blaine had said.

'Crap.' "Sorry…I zoned out. Say again?"

"I asked if Kurt was in there."

"Uh yeah he is. He got a bit sick this morning."

"Oh no. I'll go check on him." Blaine walked swiftly to the door. And then a particularly loud groan came from the door.

"No, wait!" I yelled before I could stop myself. Blaine stopped.

"What's wrong? I can't see my own boyfriend?" there was a slight harshness in his voice, which was understandable.

"I'm sorry. Of course you can, but he's just asleep right now." This was true…yeah, keep going. Good. "He was being twitchy just at the sound of me turning a page. So I figured you going in would wake him up easily. I didn't mean to be so loud a minute ago. I'm surprised he didn't wake up." Okay, that was a lie. But please work. Blaine sighed.

"Alright, maybe you're right. God, I need to rest a bit too. My head is killing me."

"Yeah, you should." I answered, feeling great that it worked. Blaine backed away from the door.

"But if he ever needs me, come get me, alright?"

"Sure! Of course. No problem. Thanks for understanding. Who knows, he could kill me later for not letting you in." Blaine laughed before cringing at a small pain in his temples.

"Thanks Josh. I guess I'll uh..see ya later."

"Sure. Bye, Blaine." I took a breath. Blaine walked down the hall, and just as he turned the corner I opened the door slowly and closed it before it made any noise. I turned and could think for a second. 'Why am I being so protective? He was just having a wet dream...so what? I had one two days ago, it's not like it matters. We're room-mates, but that doesn't give me any reason to stop his boyfriend from coming in. But why did I have that strong feeling like that was just the right thing to do?' I turned around slowly to see if Kurt had settled down. But what I found wasn't Kurt. It was something you don't see much at Dalton. Something that is a rare and wonderful sight indeed. A girl.

A girl? 'I guess that's why I had that feeling.'

So…there's a girl in Kurt's bed. Any explanation? He's actually straight… no. It's his sister and she's been hiding at Dalton! Does he have a sister? Well, that's the only thing that would make sense. And she looks just like him. But...she's laying right where Kurt just was and…where is he? Is he still sick? Am I dreaming? I don't know this seems more like a nightmare to me.

"Josh?" A soft female voice fluttered from the bed. Josh looked down and was met with light green/blue eyes behind long lashes.

"Um..yea. I'm Josh. Who are you?"

"I know you're Josh, and I'm Kurt you dim-wit. I think I'm feeling a bit better, but could you put the comforter back on the bed? I'm freezing." Okay, now I'm confused.

"You're…you're not Kurt! I know very well that Kurt is a boy. You have boobs and long hair, and I'm sure other parts as well! So answer me; who are you and how did you get in here? Where is Kurt? Oh god, his boyfriend is going to kill me. Kill me in terrible gay hobbit little ways. I think I'm going insane."

The brunette girl stood up and looked at herself. She sighed and picked up a book from Josh's bed. She then proceeded to smack him across the arm with it.

"OW! Jeez, what the crap lady? I just ask you a question and you hit me with a book?"

"That was supposed to prove to you that I'm Kurt."

"Well, I'm not buyin' it. Come on now, what'd you do to him?"

"Nothing. I am him. It's hard to explain! Agh…fine. I can prove it. Josh, when you were six you accidentally wandered inside an adult store, pointed at a "toy" and asked why there was a banana on the shelf." I am absolutely struck. No-one knows that except my sister, my mom, Kurt, and an ex-girlfriend of mine.

"You- you must be a friend of Jenny's."

"No! I am Kurt! Ugh…I never figured out the best way to do this. Come sit down." The girl said. Alright fine. What's the harm? I sat, on my bed, next to the beautiful petite girl. She moves her hair out of her face and begins to talk, never looking at me.

"I am Kurt. Or well, technically was. I'm Katrina now. I have a special rare case called Zerophilia. It basically means I change genders every time I…become aroused." Josh couldn't help but smirk.

"Yeah, you definitely were aroused." Kurt's eyes went wide and he raised an eyebrow.

"Excuse me?"

"You, little warbler, were humping into your pillow like a horny jack rabbit. It must have been a good dream. I have to admit though; your speed is impressive." Kurt turned bright red and squeeked.

"Jeez Josh. That's not the point. The point is I am a girl until I have another orgasm and Blaine cannot find out about this."

"Why not just tell him?"

"I want to...and I was going to, but I had to have that stupid dream at just the wrong time."

"It didn't seem very stupid from the way you were moaning." The female Kurt slapped her hands across her forehead.

"Shut. Up. Josh."

"Sorry. So uh, are you feeling better?"

"Yeah. Much. I think I just hadn't changed in so long that my body was reacting and basically forced me into a weak and highly…excitable mode. It's really quite odd to see me as Katrina again. It's been a while."

"Oh so your called Katrina. Cool! I was getting tired of thinking 'female Kurt'." Katrina rolled her eyes. "So who all knows?"

"Erm my family, my best friend, and now you."

"Aw, I'm honored." I said, putting a hand to my heart.

"Well it's not like I wanted you to know!" she blew up.

"Damn, attitude. I'll have you know that I stopped Blaine from coming in here and finding you like this about 5 minutes ago! So you should be thanking me." The girl's head perked up.

"Wait, Blaine tried to come in?"

"Yes, he did. But for some reason my head kept telling me to stop him. I had such a strong feeling that he shouldn't go in there. And now I know why."

"Oh, wow. Well thanks Josh. And uh thanks for taking care of me."

"No problem little roomie. You owe me a batch of chocolate chip cookies." Katrina laughed.

"I just knew that's what you were going to ask for."

"What? They're amazing!"

"Well thank you. And sure, you deserve 'em." I couldn't help but do a little victory dance. Kurt's.. I mean uh Katrina's chocolate chip cookies are basically made of heaven.

"So uh…you don't mind covering for me until I change back? Or until I tell Blaine."

"Of course not. Make that two batches." Katrina rolled her eyes.

"Whatever, Josh."

I smirked. "Aw, you love me."

"Uh-huh.." she said, walking into the bathroom.

I sighed, thinking all over again. 'It's going to take some getting used to Kurt being a girl every now and then. It must be difficult for him. I wonder how long it's been going on? But I'm here for him. Gosh, can I get any more awesome? I'm helping someone for barely any profit. I rock.'

I smiled to myself, thinking about those mouth watering chocolate chip cookies that are hopefully in the near future. And then I turned back to my bed to find that I was still stuck on problem number seven in French. My smile fell.

"Ah, shit."


End file.
